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Coach Litrell mixing in some green attire

Harry

By Harry
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MeanGreenTexan Grand Master

MeanGreenTexan

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...
RV: "So the best place to get sweater vests is at the Burlington Coat Factory over by Calloway's nursery."
SL: "Oh, yeah?"
RV: "Yeah!  Do you like TVs and stuff?"
SL: "Um, yeah."
RV: "You're really gonna love Best Buy then.  I love that store."
SL: "Yeah, I guess I'll have to check it out Rick...  Hey, excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom again."
...

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UNT90 Newbie

UNT90

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I mean making small talk with the new boss for over 2 hours. I'd be worn out after 30 minutes.

Particularly THAT new boss.

I can just see the dialog:

RV: Now Coach, I like we should go over expectations.

Littrell: ok boss

RV: First, you call me coach. I was a coach, too, you know. So don't call me boss or RV, you call me COACH!! Got it?!?!

Litrell: uh... Ok... Coach?...

RV: that's better. Now, about those expectations. Look, I really care about UNT. I'm in year 15 of my 45 year plan to ever so slightly change the culture around here. This place means so much to me. I... (Sobs, wipes tear it took the whole flight to generate from eye) I EXPECT you to win, and win early. I also expect you to recruit your ass off. I also expect you to market games to finally sell out Apogee, get out in the community and talk with business owners and solicit donations. Contact former wealthy alumni personally and solicit major donations, find a way to get a partnership with the City of Denton to help bring more fans out, and sell the program to the students. I'm sure there are a couple of things I'm leaving out, but I'll let you know as they come to me...

Littrell: uh... You know, boss... Sorry, I mean coach, these duties weren't discussed when Pres. Smatresk negotiated the contract with me. Frankly, it, uh... It sounds like you are kinda asking me to do YOUR job. And being that this is the first time we have met, I find this conversation... Uh... Awkward... If not inappropriate.

RV: Settle down, son. This is just the way we do things at UNT. You think the President got this fancy ride to Denton for you? Hell no! I did! You just got to understand that we have a certain way we do things around here. As long as you play ball, we all can milk this gig for another 5 years. Things have gone well for 15 years. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That's a Texas saying, you know.

Littrell: Uh... Coach?... I was under the impression there are a lot of problems, which is why President Smatresk chose me for this job? As a matter of fact, he specifically told me to come to him if I had problems with you. Do you know what that's about?

RV: I have no idea! Neil is my close personal friend. I mean, we went 3-9 in 2015 in football and had some small issues, but on the whole, this thing is set up to explode. We are a sleeping giant, ya know. Also, our men's basketball team is off to a 4-4 start and look like they will be CUSA west champs. Things are turning around for UNT!

Littrell: Uh, Coach... Football was 1-11. I know because I have the Internet and googled UNT. And basketball is currently 2-6 and getting blown out by everybody. Those things just aren't true...

RV: details, son, I'm more of a big picture guy. Let me tell you about my vision...

Littrell: <rolls eyes> (first of many in the first month of his tenure). 

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Cerebus Experienced

Cerebus

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RV: Now let me tell you my biggest lesson. Real life learned,  fbs knowledge. 

SL: Go on bos...uh, I mean coach. 

RV: when you want two scoops of something at Chipotle, don't tell them right off the bat...

SL: *confused stare*

RV: if they know you want two,  they always shortchange you on both...

SL: *stare becomes more confused,  slightly agitated*

RV: make them give you a full first scoop,  then hit em  with the second one.   They can't go light on either,  you already saw what a real scoop looks like.  *makes grand flourish motion*

LT: *confusion gives way to concern*

RV: I can tell by the look on your face this is all a bit much,  don't worry,  youll get the hang of it, you don't become an old card shark overnight. 

LT: I'm starting to see why smatty wanted me not to meet you til now. 

RV: what's that,  the president,  funny,  *nervously* he's uh,  not returning my texts right now. 

LT: I can reckon why.  If you'll excuse me I need to call my agent and tan his hide til we land. 

*close scene: as chorus of 17 sings Villarealous in the Highest*

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Eastwood Eagle Newbie

Eastwood Eagle

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...RV: "So the best place to get sweater vests is at the Burlington Coat Factory over by Calloway's nursery."
SL: "Oh, yeah?"
RV: "Yeah!  Do you like TVs and stuff?"
SL: "Um, yeah."
RV: "You're really gonna love Best Buy then.  I love that store."
SL: "Yeah, I guess I'll have to check it out Rick...  Hey, excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom again."
...

To be fair, RV has gone on record saying that he gets his sweater vests from Brooks Brothers. So we can't fault him on the quality of his sweater vests. 

Edited by Eastwood Eagle
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