The Police Files

[emmitt01]

Today's entry: A Tale of Two Domestics

If there is one thing I have learned in five and a half years as a police officer it's that what you see on COPS is about 2% of the job. While I would love to only chase stolen cars, bust drug dealers and get in shoot-outs (ok, maybe not the shoot-outs) that's not what it's all about. I should get paid far more since I'm essentially responsible for doing the jobs of law enforcer, counselor, psychiatrist, family therapist and actor...cuz sometimes I have to act like I care when I don't. So, here's a few examples both from last night...and back to back no less. Not for children.

The second call out of the box last night was a domestic disturbance with the comments "complainant requests police for argument with her boyfriend. Fears that things will escalate." I drive up and this fairly attractive lady walks out and meets me at my car. She says she is arguing with the father of her children because she wanted to bathe the 4 year old and the 1 year old at the same time...apparently daddy wasn't keen on the idea. The two of them get into an argument and the father announces that he doesn't want to be near her, sleep next to her or look at her (did I mention it was midnight?). She says "fine" and tells him he can sleep on the couch because she's not giving up the bed. She even says "why don't we just share the bed and not look at eachother?" but not dice. He's apparently been on the couch one too many times though because by the time I arrived he had taken the baby's crib from in the nursery and moved it into the bedroom with the mom...and laid himself out a blanket on the nursery floor. Why he couldn't lay that blanket down anywhere else in the apartment I don't know but now the mom is pissed because he's re-arranging the furniture. Bottom line is that a stupid argument between two pig headed adults has resulted in the baby being up late at night and the furniture being moved around. End result of this was that I told them both that this was not a police matter and I had real crime to get back to...but again, I'm also supposed to play family therapist so I pulled the dad aside. I told the guy "This is a stupid argument. If your girlfriend is willing to let you sleep in the bed on separate sides take her up on it and put the baby back in the nursery. You'll be more comfortable and besides...YOU'LL BE IN THE BED WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" I did mention that she's fairly attractive, right? He was hell bent on biting off his nose to spite his face though, so I left calling him an idiot under my breath.

Soooooo, I walked out to my car and before I even got the key in the ignition the tones started going off. Seems some guy had called saying that his wife had just stabbed him in the same apartment complex. I can't make this stuff up.

I would usually speed off lights and sirens blaring but instead I calmly drove four buildings down. I get out of the car about the time DFD gets there and we see this guy who is bleeding from his leg. I asked the guy what happened in my broken spanish and his story is as follows. He claims he got into an argument with his wife and that she grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed him. About this time the mom comes walking out carrying the sleeping 3 year old with the 7 year old right behind. I took the kids from her and walked her back into the apartment to get her side of the story...which varies drastically from him. She claims that he came to pick her up from work and saw her speaking to a male co-worker. They get home and while she's cooking he starts demanding "who was that?!" She explains that it is a friend of hers from work and that he's over-reacting. He demands that there must be more to the story and starts banging his head against a wall (her story). She tells him to stop acting like a lunatic because apparently he has hit her in the past and even destroyed her cell phone so that she "can't be a whore." Obviously hurt by the implication that he could ever be a lunatic he grabs a kitchen knife and stabs himself in the leg...then walks into the children's room and yells "Look what your mommy did." She tries to bandage his wound but he won't have it and calls 911. Well, I walked back outside to look at this man's wound as DFD was tending to it and it's about 1/8 inch deep. If there is one thing I know from the many suicide calls I've been to...and the real stabbings...it's that a superficial wound like this is the kind you self-inflict for dramatic effect, not the kind you inflict out of rage. I tell the guy as much but he still insists he was attacked. So, luckily another officer was there with his rookie and they got the task of taking mommy to jail for aggravated assault (a felony) because daddy is a douche bag. Had the rookie not been there and needed the training I'm not sure what we would have done. Technically we're supposed to take every claim of family violence seriously but I'm not so sure I wouldn't have just taken the dad into custody for "suicide watch." The kids went to grandma's.

Next time: My fun with Michael Clark Duncan's twin.

[KingDL1]

Great Read Emmitt, thanks for sharing! I hope you continue the series I think it will help us get through the off season.

[FirefightnRick]

Funny stuff.

Rick

[UNT_playmaker]

I'm not so suprised, I mean Emmitt is a police officer in the seventh biggest city in America....

I am suprised that you have been able to be mentally stable through the ordeals you have been through.

Keep them coming...

[GoMeanGreen1999]

Great addition to the original stories. I love hearing about your experiences.

Edited April 18, 2008 by GoMeanGreen1999

[SCREAMING EAGLE-66]

--- Most people have no clue what is really going on in this world and what public servants such as the police, teachers, social workers, have to see and deal with. Those domestic cases can be the most dangerious. There are a lot emotions flowing and you never know what some idiots will do. They want to you to fix the situation but not really do anything to the other person sometimes. We lost a couple of policemen in Odessa this year during one. They can be rather calm one minute and violent and crazy a minute later. Just be careful.

Tough job to assess what is really going one and what needs to be done..

[SCREAMING EAGLE-66]

that is good right there. I am glad these stories back. People are amazing though. Simply amazing.

huh..??

[GoMeanGreen1999]

huh..??

I should proof read more often huh? Sorry, I fixed it.

[EagleChick03]

As a teacher, I am constantly appalled at the shitty things parents do in front of their kids. That guy who stabbed himself and showed his kids just scarred them for life, way to go.

[UNTFan23]

As a teacher, I am constantly appalled at the shitty things parents do in front of their kids. That guy who stabbed himself and showed his kids just scarred them for life, way to go.

Sadly, a lot of people are not fit to be parents. It is only after the fact that this is discovered.

[SCREAMING EAGLE-66]

As a teacher, I am constantly appalled at the shitty things parents do in front of their kids. That guy who stabbed himself and showed his kids just scarred them for life, way to go.

Sadly, a lot of people are not fit to be parents. It is only after the fact that this is discovered.

--- The most accurate statement of the day. I spent 30 years in a public school classroom (mostly 8th and 9th grade) and still teach college classes. After seeing all the things I have seen you get a different perspective. We have religious groups that oppose all birth control, the religious nuts at El Dorado (they claim to be Christian) that try to see how many kids (and wives) they can have, and those groups that oppose abortion in ALL cases... including 12-13-14 year old girls, druggie or alcoholic moms, and many other terrible situations too numerious to name. The resulting kids ( and mothers) are doomed from the start. Sometimes there just is no good solution unfortunately, just better ones. Those who oppose it should contribute lots of money and personal time to help those abused and neglected kids, either that or just shut up. . Unfortunately usually their actions don't support their mouth. Adoption may be an option but many "moms"will not give the kid up and many are so messed up that no one wants take them.

I know this is not football but has any of thread been football.? ... It is not football season and most threads tend to wonder a bit anyway.

Edited April 19, 2008 by SCREAMING EAGLE-66

[emmitt01]

Today's entry: Traffic stops that I just can't forget.

We'll start with one that occurred last night. It's actually what gave me the idea for this entry and it was too funny not to share. Ok, so my partner and I pulled this guy over for running a stop sign. The guy had Arkansas plates, Louisiana registration and a Texas driver's license...which isn't illegal but is kinda strange just the same. So I go back and write the guy his ticket and walk back up to his window, and this is the exchange that takes place,

Me: Sir you're being cited for running that stop sign back there.

Him: This is a citation?

Me: Yes sir.

Him: Oh, thanks man.

Me: Yes sir, and you have 21 days to take care of this citation.

Him: Oh, ok...thanks again for not writing me a ticket.

Me (after I regained my composure): Sir, a citation is a ticket. They're synonyms.

Him: Huh?

Me: To put it plainly, I would pay this.

This next one is from about two weeks ago. I stopped an elderly lady for not having her headlights on. I approached the window and she asked me what the problem was. I explained to her that she didn't have her headlights on. She thanked me for letting her know and attempted to produce her driver's license and insurance. She found her license quite easily and then handed me her registration receipt. I explained that this wasn't an insurance card. She apologized and went about trying to find her insurance in her glove box. She then produced her car title. I told her "no ma'm that's not it either". So she gave it one more try...this time handing me a receipt for an oil change from Jiffy Lube. (Again, I can't make this stuff up) I asked her if she was having trouble remembering what her insurance looked like and she insisted that she did not...and in fact was quite indignant about it. She said she lived close by so I told her "nevermind" on the insurance thing and to simply turn on her lights and drive home. She fumbled around the control panel of her car for a minute or so until I finally reached in and turned the knob for her. Needless to say I put in for a review of her driver's license.

Next we have my favorite kind of traffic stop...the DWI. I was on my way to an accident on the border of Dallas and Highland Park about five months ago when I came to be the second car behind a vehicle stopped at a blinking red light. As I'm sure all of you know, or should, a blinking red means stop until it is safe to proceed. Well, it was 4am and there was nobody really on the road. After about 20 seconds of seeing no cross traffic the vehicle up front still hadn't moved. I thought "Ok, maybe he's having car trouble" so I pulled up beside him in the next lane. He didn't look at me at first so I turned my overhead lights on. He looked over at me for a second and then went back to staring straight ahead. I pointed my spotlight into his car and he again looked at me for a second and then looked straight ahead. By this point I knew what was up because only the guilty like to play the "If I can't see you then you can't see me" game. You know, since staring straight ahead grants you invisibility. I got out of my car and knocked on his passenger window. He rolled the window down and said to.......wait for it..........."I'm not drunk." Bingo! So I called for a DWI element and we hooked this guy up after he failed EVERY field sobriety test. (And would you believe another drunk pulled up behind the first guy's car while we were dealing with him and got stuck there because he was "waiting for this guy to move"....this after we explained to him twice that the first guy was going to jail. Yep. A 2 for 1 special on drunks...I really can't make this stuff up)

A couple of interesting tidbits to go along with this story. First, though the arrest technically happened in Highland Park, HPPD wanted nopart of this deal. Not the arrest, not to wait on the wrecker, no part. Also, I've been to court 5 times now because this guy's lawyer wants to have the arrest thrown out since he says "Not moving from a red light isn't a traffic violation." He's wrong of course but I'll just let this idiot continue to pay his legal fees until he wises up...that way, even if he doesn't get convicted of DWI, he's thousands of dollars poorer for it.

And for the grand finale we have a story of the kind of citation I just love to write...one where the person is an ass. I pulled a car over off of Greenville/635 last night because they turned onto a street without using their turn signal. I know, I know, some of you are thinking "what a chicken s%$t ticket" but you've gotta understand it was around 2am and there are a lot of drunks out...yes, even on a Monday. So I pulled this young lady over and she demands "Why did you stop me?!" I explained that she hadn't signaled and she told me "Yes I did!" and immediately starts to dial her daddy. I went back to the car and wrote the citation and even checked on my in-car video to make sure I hadn't just missed her signalling. I walked back up to her window and she announces after scribbling some chicken scratch on the signature line that her fater has informed her that I couldn't have possibly seen her turn signal from the vast distance of 50 feet. No wonder they turn out so many quality attorneys at SMU. Needless to say this is a ticket that will be going to court...and I'll be happy to pick up the overtime to defend it.

Next time: Even 28 year old muscle bound men can cry for their mommy...if they're fighting you and happen to be paranoid schizophrenic.

[BeanCounterGrad'03]

Today's entry: Traffic stops that I just can't forget.

I pulled a car over off of Greenville/635 last night because they turned onto a street without using their turn signal. I know, I know, some of you are thinking "what a chicken s%$t ticket" but you've gotta understand it was around 2am and there are a lot of drunks out...yes, even on a Monday.

A few months ago, I got pulled over around midnight for "signaling too late". The officer didn't even try to hide the fact that he was hunting for drunk drivers, but he quickly let me go after I truthfully told him that I just came from a Christian rock concert and offered to show him the ticket stub. He was pretty nice about it and I'm glad there out there watching for it.

[emmitt01]

I'm dead tired right now but I will have a very interesting new entry later today.

Thanks to my many readers who keep this thing alive.

[emmitt01]

Today's Entry: When you break up with your "baby momma" move to a different area code

Last night I got the call of all calls. A cutting came out, a code 3 call so I got to drive all fast and stuff, and I was just down the street. I arrived to find this 20 year old male standing there holding his right shoulder which had been sliced almost down to the bone...and he had a small stab wound on his stomach as well. I askeed him what happened and he replied "she cut me so I broke her window." Not exactly the material needed to solve this particular whodunit so I delved deeper. I asked "who?" and he says "she's over here in this apartment" and starts to walk away. Mind you the paramedics are trying their damndest to hold him up long enough to bandage his shoulder and telling him he really needs to get transported...but he's a little too pissy to listen. So we walk to an upstairs apartment and when I knock on the door I am greeted by an irate 21 year old who starts screaming "Look what he done did to my window!" I ask "why did he break your window" to which she replies "I don't know." I asked "you didn't stab him or cut him in any way?" and she replies "nope...I aint touched him." We asked her if there was anyone else in the apartment and she says "no" but we're obligated to look anyway. Lo and behold we find a second female in the back bedroom who is tending to 5 children in there. I ask her "what happened" and she tells me something about this guys new girlfriend attacking her at the corner store...but nothing about a stabbing. Strangely enough when I ask "how did he get cut?" she tells me that he stormed into this apartment and hit her in the face then ran away so she chased him downstairs and cut him. Now we're getting somewhere. They apparently have a 1-year old together and she is 3 months pregnant. She says he has hit her before. Unfortunately for her, even though he did commit family violence, once he left the location and gave her a chance to lock the door and be out of danger the abusive episode was over. That she chased him downstairs and cut him now makes her guilty of aggravated assault...which is commited in the course of a family violence episode is a felony 1. So I went downstairs to have him corroborate this story and he insists that the cuttting happened inside the apartment....which would make her stabbing him an act of self-defense. So I've got baby momma copping out to Agg Assault and baby daddy copping out to Misdemeanor A assault...both of whom are spinning the story, unwittingly, in a light least favorable to themselves. Luckily I was able to find a string of independent witnesses who could put the string of events together for me.

And here's what really transpired (I can't make this stuff up): Baby momma and her friend are at the corner store when they run into baby daddy and his new girlfriend. New girlfriend and baby momma's friend exchange mean looks and bumping into eachother and a cat fight ensues. Baby momma and friend go back to friend's apartment. Baby daddy shows up at the door knocking loudly and yelling "give me back my cell phone." (I'm not sure how this cell phone plays into the whole ordeal but you'd be surprised how many fights start over a cellular phone) Friend answers the door and says "we don't have your cell phone, go away!" Baby daddy pushes her out of the way and walks into her apartment uninvited where he then punches baby momma in the face. [Legal lesson #1- Entering someone else's home by force with intent to commit an assault is Burglary of a Habitation...a second degree felony ] Baby daddy runs down the stairs and baby momma grabs a kitchen knife and, along with friend, gives chase. They catch up to him near the leasing office and she slices him across the shoulder. He runs away again and they chase him further, back to the corner store where this all started, and she stabs him in the stomach. [Legal lesson #2- If you stab someone whom you have a familiar relationship with that is Aggravated Assault against a family member w/ deadly weapon...a first degree felony] Baby momma and friend go back to friend's apartment, stopping to get into a fight...again...with baby daddy's new girlfriend and one of her friends. Baby daddy comes over a few minutes later and breaks one of the apartment windows. [Legal lesson #3- Willful damage to another's property if the damage is >$50<$500 is Misdemeanor B Criminal Mischief ] Needless to say baby daddy and baby momma both got to go to jail...and baby daddy will have 10 years to serve because he was already on probation for Manufacture or Delivery of a controlled substance. And just to make sure he stays at Lew Sterrett long enough for his probation officer to revoke him I went personally to the magistrate and put in a request for higher bail.

But don't fret all of you lovebirds. At jail he did apologize to her for his being in jail because "I woulda bailed you out." Aint love grand?

Edited April 26, 2008 by emmitt01

[mad dog]

I am bookmarking this thread. Keep 'em coming.

[LongJim]

Good entry, but I wanna hear about the 28 year old schizo!

[Shuke-D]

Emmitt. Any interest in doing a Police Files: Ojai, CA special episode? Sounds like they need your help:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-pa...0,2273078.story

[emmitt01]

Just keeping this alive as I will have more in the next day or so.

[KingDL1]

Keep it coming

Always great stuff.

[emmitt01]

Today's entry: A Hodge Podge of stuff from the last two weeks

First, we have the delightful story of a man I'll call electro. No, he looks nothing like Jennifer Garner...in fact he's homeless. Electro is a copper thief we had to spend 6 hours with at Parkland Hospital recently. The complete and total waste of city/police resources babysitting this man is bad enough but it's not really the reason this story is worth telling. You see, we first came into contact with our boy electro several weeks ago when he was trying to steal the copper from the air conditioning unit on top of a closed business. He must have skipped the unit on electricity when he took high school science because he managed to electrocute himself and blow himself off of the roof. He was taken to jail soon thereafter with no complaints of pain. He served his little 24 hours in jail and left Lew Sterrett a changed man....yeah, right. A week later he was back up on the roof of another building trying to steal someone else's copper. Seems crack isn't free and copper theft is the easiest way to quick money. Well, our boy electro learned his lesson about being electrocuted but didn't quite master the art of not being caught. So, what does electro do to avoid going back to Lew Sterrett? He complains of the injuries he suffered a week ago and the nurses at Lew Sterrett send him to Parkland. If you've ever stepped foot in Parkland (or any community hospital in our fine nation) you know that "quick" and "care" are not two words that will ever go together. So while he gets free aspirin, a clean bed to sleep on, water, and the opportunity to bitch and moan about his injuries THAT HE SUFFERED STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT we get to sit in a hard plastic chair and watch him. Lest you think this is a rarity, think again. Every hook in Dallas county who has been in jail more than about twice knows how to work the nurses at Lew Sterrett so that they can go to Parkland.

[Quick historical snippet: It doesn't help that the Dallas County jail is under federal court watch due to the abysmal medical conditions of prisoners over the last few years. ]

Next, it's the story of the knife throwing Honduran. I responded to a call last week from a lady who stated that her boyfriend was trying to kill her...and had a gun. I got there and my cover element, a female officer, quickly ushered me into the apartment and upstairs. I asked why we were hiding and she said that the boyfriend had gone to the store and would be back at any minute. While we waited for him to return I got the rundown on what had happened. Seems this lady and her prince charming had been involved in an argument over her sleeping with other men (she wasn't really but there's something about jackass men that makes them possessive and paranoid). She had moved out of this apartment a week earlier and had returned to get some of their baby's belongings (there also seems to be a strange propensity amongst these women to procreate with these guys). Well, after accusing her of infidelity/moving on after their break up this guy goes into the kitchen and proceeds to start hurling all of the kitchen knives at this woman. Several of them narrowly missed her and stuck i n the wall! She tried to run out the door but he grabbed her and threw her down. So she tries to dial 911 but he rips the phone out of the wall and destroys it. So she runs upstairs where he gives chase. After hitting her a couple times he starts throwing objects from the bathroom at her...hair clippers, cups, the shower curtain rod. (What is it with these grown men throwing temper tantrums like 3 year olds?) Anyway she pulls out her cell phone and he flees. She collected the belongings she came for and drove to the gas station...guess who was there. He says to her "You're going back to the apartment...right?" So, she does. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of waiting we hear him outside the front door clapping his hands in what I can only assume is a signal for her to come outside. She asks us, I kid you not, "should I go outside and talk to him?" I had a better idea though. I went downstairs and, staying out of the way of the threshold, unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. I could see his shadow approaching the door so I popped around the corner, gun drawn, and told the guy to get on the ground. Either he didn't understand English or he thought I said "reach for your pocket" but either way I grabbed him by his throat and choke slammed him. (Hondurans are surprisingly aerodynamic) After we got him handcuffed and took his gun from him his only response was "I live here." Oh, you do? Well, problem solved then and thank you for your time. In his possession was a Honduran ID card, a matricula consular card, a resident alien card, and a social security card...all in different names. Turns out he has ICE and INS detainers under a couple of these names. So he'll get deported back to Honduras and, if (let's be honest, when) he returns, he'll have felony charges waiting for him.

I can't make this stuff up.

Finally, before I gotta run to work, let me give you this week's sign of the apocalypse. I answered a call a few nights ago at a 7-11 concerning a guy with a gun. When I get there all I find is a 39 year old woman who is livid. She tells me that her 22 year old daughter has been staying with her and has been giving her problems. Apparently the daughter met some guy from NY and invited him to come live with her (at mom's place). She refuses to work and tears up the mother's apartment on a regular basis. Well, tonight the mom tried to tell her to leave and the daughter told her "you can't make me leave, I live here and if you try my man has a gun." I asked the obvious questions (obvious to me, not so much to this lady) of "why is your daughter living with you at 22?" and "why did you allow some dude from NY to come into your apartment?" She says she's doing it for her 2 year old grandson because she doesn't want to put him out. She tells me she's tired of her daughter sleeping around with these strange men and being irresponsible and...wait for it....she blames herself because she went to prison when the daughter was young. (I cannot, for the life of me, figure out where this daughter went wrong) Then she hits me with the bombshell..."I don't know why she treats me this way. I'm never violent towards her. I haven't been violent since before I got locked up. My life has turned around 360 degrees." There was nothing I could do for this lady, and told her as much but I was deeply saddened. Not deeply saddened for her, deeply saddened that I'm about to bring a daughter into this world.

Edited May 8, 2008 by emmitt01

[GoMeanGreen1999]

Today's entry: A Hodge Podge of stuff from the last two weeks

First, we have the delightful story of a man I'll call electro. No, he looks nothing like Jennifer Garner...in fact he's homeless. Electro is a copper thief we had to spend 6 hours with at Parkland Hospital recently. The complete and total waste of city/police resources babysitting this man is bad enough but it's not really the reason this story is worth telling. You see, we first came into contact with our boy electro several weeks ago when he was trying to steal the copper from the air conditioning unit on top of a closed business. He must have skipped the unit on electricity when he took high school science because he managed to electrocute himself and blow himself off of the roof. He was taken to jail soon thereafter with no complaints of pain. He served his little 24 hours in jail and left Lew Sterrett a changed man....yeah, right. A week later he was back up on the roof of another building trying to steal someone else's copper. Seems crack isn't free and copper theft is the easiest way to quick money. Well, our boy electro learned his lesson about being electrocuted but didn't quite master the art of not being caught. So, what does electro do to avoid going back to Lew Sterrett? He complains of the injuries he suffered a week ago and the nurses at Lew Sterrett send him to Parkland. If you've ever stepped foot in Parkland (or any community hospital in our fine nation) you know that "quick" and "care" are not two words that will ever go together. So while he gets free aspirin, a clean bed to sleep on, water, and the opportunity to bitch and moan about his injuries THAT HE SUFFERED STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT we get to sit in a hard plastic chair and watch him. Lest you think this is a rarity, think again. Every hook in Dallas county who has been in jail more than about twice knows how to work the nurses at Lew Sterrett so that they can go to Parkland.

[Quick historical snippet: It doesn't help that the Dallas County jail is under federal court watch due to the abysmal medical conditions of prisoners over the last few years. ]

Next, it's the story of the knife throwing Honduran. I responded to a call last week from a lady who stated that her boyfriend was trying to kill her...and had a gun. I got there and my cover element, a female officer, quickly ushered me into the apartment and upstairs. I asked why we were hiding and she said that the boyfriend had gone to the store and would be back at any minute. While we waited for him to return I got the rundown on what had happened. Seems this lady and her prince charming had been involved in an argument over her sleeping with other men (she wasn't really but there's something about jackass men that makes them possessive and paranoid). She had moved out of this apartment a week earlier and had returned to get some of their baby's belongings (there also seems to be a strange propensity amongst these women to procreate with these guys). Well, after accusing her of infidelity/moving on after their break up this guy goes into the kitchen and proceeds to start hurling all of the kitchen knives at this woman. Several of them narrowly missed her and stuck i n the wall! She tried to run out the door but he grabbed her and threw her down. So she tries to dial 911 but he rips the phone out of the wall and destroys it. So she runs upstairs where he gives chase. After hitting her a couple times he starts throwing objects from the bathroom at her...hair clippers, cups, the shower curtain rod. (What is it with these grown men throwing temper tantrums like 3 year olds?) Anyway she pulls out her cell phone and he flees. She collected the belongings she came for and drove to the gas station...guess who was there. He says to her "You're going back to the apartment...right?" So, she does. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of waiting we hear him outside the front door clapping his hands in what I can only assume is a signal for her to come outside. She asks us, I kid you not, "should I go outside and talk to him?" I had a better idea though. I went downstairs and, staying out of the way of the threshold, unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. I could see his shadow approaching the door so I popped around the corner, gun drawn, and told the guy to get on the ground. Either he didn't understand English or he thought I said "reach for your pocket" but either way I grabbed him by his throat and choke slammed him. (Hondurans are surprisingly aerodynamic) After we got him handcuffed and took his gun from him his only response was "I live here." Oh, you do? Well, problem solved then and thank you for your time. In his possession was a Honduran ID card, a matricula consular card, a resident alien card, and a social security card...all in different names. Turns out he has ICE and INS detainers under a couple of these names. So he'll get deported back to Honduras and, if (let's be honest, when) he returns, he'll have felony charges waiting for him.

I can't make this stuff up.

Finally, before I gotta run to work, let me give you this week's sign of the apocalypse. I answered a call a few nights ago at a 7-11 concerning a guy with a gun. When I get there all I find is a 39 year old woman who is livid. She tells me that her 22 year old daughter has been staying with her and has been giving her problems. Apparently the daughter met some guy from NY and invited him to come live with her (at mom's place). She refuses to work and tears up the mother's apartment on a regular basis. Well, tonight the mom tried to tell her to leave and the daughter told her "you can't make me leave, I live here and if you try my man has a gun." I asked the obvious questions (obvious to me, not so much to this lady) of "why is your daughter living with you at 22?" and "why did you allow some dude from NY to come into your apartment?" She says she's doing it for her 2 year old grandson because she doesn't want to put him out. She tells me she's tired of her daughter sleeping around with these strange men and being irresponsible and...wait for it....she blames herself because she went to prison when the daughter was young. (I cannot, for the life of me, figure out where this daughter went wrong) Then she hits me with the bombshell..."I don't know why she treats me this way. I'm never violent towards her. I haven't been violent since before I got locked up. My life has turned around 360 degrees." There was nothing I could do for this lady, and told her as much but I was deeply saddened. Not deeply saddened for her, deeply saddened that I'm about to bring a daughter into this world.

As much as you want to type, I will read, because as you said it first, "You can't make this stuff up."

[KingDL1]

Emmitt pure greatness!!

[emmitt01]

Coming soon...the orange CA entry.

[emmitt01]

bumper cars