It's horribly unfortunate that you have that situation, but there are probably better places than college forums to discuss the vices that are manifested from your "constant fear about what's between someone's legs". Brainwashing and mental manipulation by TikTok and other social media have reportedly been brutal to many other fragile and vulnerable teen girls in addition to yourself. There are legitimate recognized crisis support services that can offer therapy (many free) and can even defuse manifestations caused by programming to a hate induced woke ideology.
We are a community here and hopefully posters can direct you towards helpful resources.
God Bless and Best Wishes.
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