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Maricopa County, AZ:

Early voting rocks. Some bourbon, some cigarettes, a black ball-point pen, the internet, and a ballot. So much cooler than going to the polls.

Away we go...

President: Bob Barr (L)

Congress: John Thrasher (D)

State Senate: Bob Burns ®

State Reps:

Rick Murphy ®;

Debbie Lesko ®

Corporation Commissioners:

Sandra Kennedy (D);

Paul Newman (D);

Sam George (D)

County Board of Supervisors:

Max Wilson ®

County Assessor:

Keith Russell ® (special note: I wouldn't mind a qualified Libertarian here, but the L candidate barely has a grasp of the English language by which to communicate her platform)

County Attorney:

Michael Kielsky (L)

County Recorder:

Write-in: Anyone with a platform (yes, I actually wrote that in on my ballot)

County Superintendent:

David E. Hodges (L)

Sheriff: Dan Saban (D) (Side note: sounds like a Republican, but is running as a Democrat. Against a Republican incumbent. If that wasn't weird enough...after much review, it appears that both of his opponents are probably patently nuts.)

(Deep breath) Maricopa County Special Health Care District 4:

Gerald Cuendet (non partisan, but his opponent is another Libertarian without a decent grasp of the English language. To all Libertarians planning to run for office: PLEASE invest in spell check or grammar check...or make friends with someone who has already done so.)

County Community College District 4:

Paul R. Srch, and not just because I love words with no vowels in them...

Peoria Unif. No. 11:

1 vote for Joseph "Joe" McCord, 2 votes for "no confidence" in Diane M. Douglas

City of Peoria Bonds:

Questions 1-3: Yes to all bonds.

Prop 100: Yes

Prop 101: Yes

Prop 102: No

Prop 105: Yes

Prop 200: Yes

Prop 201: Yes

Prop 202: Yes

Prop 300: No

You're probably saying something like, "Jesse, that is the weirdest ballot I've ever freaking seen! What the hell kind of method do you use to choose your candidates?"

It's quite simple, actually. Whie slowly sipping a couple of cocktails over a few hours' time, I use the efficiency of my mail-in early voting ballot to research (online) all of the candidates that I haven't already researched. After viewing the candidates' issue stances and experience, if I'm still undecided, I skim through articles, blogs, etc. in order to get a feel for what the implications of their holding office might be. Finally, I review all of the information at hand for each office and vote for the person who appears the most sane and least retarded.

For the Presidency, I used a strategic vote to support my hopes for a multi-partisan future since McCain will likely take AZ (his home state) by a landslide. I by no means expect or hope for a Barr Presidency, but I'd like to see a future where we get more than the 2 established parties *actually* able to compete, take part in debates, etc. At that time, if alternative candidates still sound crazy, I'll vote like most Americans. But for now, my Presidential vote is for diversification of choices. America, and the free world, deserve at least that much.

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We all thought that was pretty funny too, because a lot of the signs went up the week he died.

In some areas of the country, there are still loopholes allowing the recently deceased to continue their campaign for office.

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