C'mon Baby! ... You're Lookin' Great!

ADLER · October 12, 2019

This in an absolutely true story that happened a couple weeks ago...slightly football related.

My Brides friend Jenny lives in Lewisville in one of those neighborhoods that has the garage in back with an alley. Jenny had been nagging her husband Allen to help her clean their garage. He decided that sitting in his recliner and watching an important football game was a higher priority. This didn't sit well with Jenny and she stormed out to clean it herself.

Jenny opens the garage door, backs the car into the driveway by the alley, parks the car and walks back to the garage. She picks up the broom to start sweeping, and then...she hears it.

C'mon Baby! ... You're Lookin' Great!

Jenny then spins around, and standing in the alley, near the back bumper is a strange man, bending over with his hands out in front of him, about butt high. He glances at Jenny briefly and repeats C'mon Baby! ... You're Lookin' Great!

Jenny bolts inside "Allen, get off you ass! There's a pervert out in the garage trying to attack me!"

Allen, too slowly to appease her, puts down his beer and snacks, climbs out of his recliner, ties his shoelaces, and follows Jenny out to the garage. There is nobody there.

"I swear he was here. He was walking weird, slowly, backwards, wiggling his hands in front of him, and he said C'mon Baby! ... You're Lookin' Great! to me." They stood around for a while, and still nothing. Furiously Jenny blames Allen for being too slow. Allen was concerned, but he not going to be tricked into cleaning the garage while the game was still being played.

Jenny stays in the garage, not so much to clean as she want to prove she's right. After a while she hears it again from down the alley "Cm'on Baby! ... You're Lookin' Great!"

"Allen! The pervert is back!" This time Allen jumps and runs to the garage. Jenny points in the direction of the voice.

Allen, who is a big guy, charges as an unknown man is bent over in their alley. In full attack mode he rapidly approaches the stranger "Hey M-F'er! What the F do you think you're doing? You trying to get your F'n Ass kicked!"

And coming from behind the edge of the fence in the direction the strangers body is facing......a small toddler girl on a tiny pink bicycle with training wheels.

D'oh!

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Edited October 12, 2019 by ADLER