6. Jamario Thomas CAN touch MC Hammer. 7. If you call Jamario Thomas "Super Jamario" to his face, Jamario will end you. Coincidentally, he will do the same if you pass him by on his right side. 8. Jamario Thomas has never cried. Ever. Even when he got a papercut. 9. Jamario Thomas doesn't walk on water, the water kisses his feet. 10. A foolish man once asked Jamario Thomas, "Boxers or briefs?" Jamario laughed a mighty and cheerful laugh, then tore the man's intestines out of his butt and used them to strangle him. Yes, remarkable as it may sound, it appears there are some people who are simply unaware that a man as pimp as Jamario can't help but go commando. 11. The chief export of Jamario Thomas is pain. 12. Simply by pulling on both ends, Jamario Thomas can stretch diamonds back into coal. 13. What do you get when you cross Jamario Thomas and a pair of cowboy boots? A roundhouse kick to the forehead... don't ever cross Jamario Thomas. 14. There is a 100% chance that Jamario Thomas is your father.