Green P1

I've been waiting so hard for this....... and it finally arrives on my glorious date of birth. I've not had the chance to read it yet as I've chosen to wait until I can enjoy it with a beer at home, from a brief glance it seems all-inclusive. http://www.dallasobserver.com/2008-07-03/news/the-hard-lie/

buy ad space in SMU's student run Newspaper?

I don't know if its "gotten harder," but in my time at UNT 02-07 I had plenty of classes with football players and I can assure you (from what I saw) it was a cakewalk.

If I only had the energy I'd get a blog up and running in which readers could submit their own douche encounters. Ever since BaD Radio discussed the rules a year or two ago I can't go out in public without seeing 3 or 4, (I do have to admit however that I play the role of North Texas douche from time to time). You don't know how excited I get whenever I spot the elusive Baylor douche. Even spotted a Tarleton douche at a firework stand last weekend. Sadly I never seem to be around anyone who understands why I'm constantly pointing them out.

I second the motion. Is there a reason that I'm not aware of as to why all Affliction/Tap Out shirts must be purchased 2 sizes too small? These days the MMA douche is beginning to outnumber the Texas douche....

What?

I've never actually experienced one, but if its even more exciting than the standard poke........... man I want one.

Now that we've learned the terminology, lets find out how rewarding it can actually be!!!! http://www.workpoop.com/ From now on whenever I'm doing that dirtiest of all deeds I at work, I'll just think about the $2496...........

It depends, is he relying on brick breaker to alleviate the awkwardness of the office poop, or is he bogarding the crapper as a means to break some blocks?

Couldn't agree with you more. Kinda low balling it with the 5 or 6 aren't you?

I remember when we were being told he was a "Power" forward........

I've experienced, or had a run in with, every item on the list, just never knew the proper terminology. There is nothing worse in this world than a Turd Burglar.

HOW TO POOP AT WORK We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANAOMELET A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom

Chain wallet?

I loved #4, although I think they should have lumped the beanies with little hat brims in with the Castro hat. If I never saw another hipster rocking one of those two I think I'd be alright.

I'm voting republican. http://imvotingrepublican.com/

Mean ole' Brett. Why can't he just say nice things everyday, all the time? Wish he would have reported that we really didn't want that little punk, or how we were just requiting him in order to trick that gullible JJ into signing him. What a jerk.

What to do with Figgins???????

You must have never met the little guy. Taken right outside my Ramsgate apartment summer 05. That little guy used to really cover some ground, its a good mile between the Union and The Ramsgate.

I didn't realize that randomly voting in this poll, but not posting, last night would bring it to page 1..... Have to say that I'm kinda glad it did though, lord knows how I abhor the angry philosophical debates that all to often rage in internet forums. Don't get me wrong, I'll argue in person until I'm blue in the face, but with all the google & cut/paste experts weighing in on every topic I just get tired head. If you ever get really bored at work it's quite fun to copy/paste random posts into google and find out just where people are actually getting "their" opinions...... Btw, I'm strangely disappointed that I've cast the only vote for Albino squirrel white.

I saw a pretty neat poster the other day. I'm not going to describe it or post it for anyone to see though. I just thought I'd let let everyone know.

Gotta love Texas. A couple of weeks ago I tagged along with my dad to the Ft. Worth Gun Show. My dad's a trapshooter on Texas' national champion team and was looking to find a trader for one of his shotguns. I went basically as a favor, so my dad wouldn't have to go alone, and ended up buying a little Walther PPK (James Bond's gun.) Pops and I are going to get our CCL's in July. I really have no desire to carry a handgun, but I like the idea of knowing I could.

Or we could just announce it ourselves. Everyone on here could tell one different person every day the true origin of the "Mean Green." I think after 2 days we'd have reached more individuals than Mr. Galloway.

Dan McDowell "Sports Humorist" Also Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear

ZING!!!! Applause.....