ElGuapo

El Guapo is incensed by these accusations.

El Guapo is confused... You want to turn down a bowl game because ridicule might hurt your feelings? El Guapo had no idea so many of you needed safe spaces.

El Guapo is stunned that the Americanos have not yet figured out that the famous bandit Ricardo Villareal has been robbing you blind from the inside. Every year at the convención internacional bandido El Guapo is forced to hear him brag about the many hundreds of thousands of dollars he takes while pretending to be some sort of futbol administrator. El Guapo is not clear on the details, but he assumed the Tejanos del Norte would have discovered his treachery by now.

El Guapo thinks this is a terrible, terrible idea... and El Guapo once invaded New Mexico on accidente.

El Guapo is a large scary man who wants to kill you.

El Guapo finds the gringo food, which you norteamericanos name pizza to be very pleasing. El Guapo wonders if perhaps others share his feelings?

El Guapo has better things to do than support insanity. El Guapo is riding off into the desert.

El Guapo weeps hot, bitter tears at the loss of this great forum. El Guapo will begin shooting hostages from the last train robbery ever hour, on the hour, until it is reopened.

..was never this embarrassed under Dickey. El Guapo is shocked he ever had to use that phrase. If Rice does not score 100, El Guapo know it is only because Rice doesn't want to... RRRRIIIIICCCCEEEEE!!!!!

El Guapo has almost forgotten that fumble against tech... almost... El Guapo must go drink some tequila.

El Guapo would also LOVE to know the answers to these questions.

El Guapo weeps at the past glory of JaMario. El Guapo vows to stop shooting unarmed federales if Jesu Christo would only see it fit to let JaMario run for a thousand yards this season.

El Guapo thinks the silence is deafening.

El Guapo would like for you to clarify a point. Are you, in fact, insinuating that El Guapo and Lee Jackson are the same person? If so, El Guapo demands satisfaction, name your second.

El Guapo is in the... wealth redistribution business.

El Guapo can neither confirm nor deny such rumors.

El Guapo is cautiously optimistic, much like how El Guapo felt the night before the great Juarez train robbery.

El Guapo has a simple management style, a style that has served El Guapo for many years in banditry. Win or die by my hand. El Guapo fears this may not be tolerated by the NCAA. El Guapo thinks they are cowardly dogs. El Guapo loves the sweater. El Guapo will demand that all fans love him. In the case of beautiful senoritas, physically. In the case of Quoner, El Guapo demands he be executed, or at least forced to stop sending El Guapo flowers. El Guapo just thinks El Guapo and Quoner are from different worlds, and it would never work out. El Guapo cannot promise any visitng team buses traveling to Fouts will not be robbed.

El Guapo can, or his opponents will be shot. El Guapo considers either outcome a win.

El Guapo hope this is not all a sham, and a plethora of canidates will be given consideration. El Guapo promises he will up his donations to the program if this occurs. Now, El Guapo is off to rob a stagecoach to pay for this donation.

El Guapo also heard he ate a puppy and kicked an old lady down the stairs. If El Guapo read it on the internet it must be true. El Guapo would also like to state that although El Guapo has, in fact, eaten several domesticated animals, and shot women of all ages, it is conduct El Guapo finds unsavory in a head coach.

Viva El Presidente!

Did El Guapo see himself? Third row, 47th from the right? El Guapo was truly pleased to see the win with such a plethora of fans.

El Guapo thinks he has a solution to this problem. When ever El Guapo is faced with deciding between several promising young bandits, he sends them off to raid seperate border towns. El Guapo expects these bandits to return with bags of money, and possibly, a new sweater for me. For those who succeed, El Guapo lavishes them with engraved pistols, beautiful women,and tequila. El Guapo shoots the ones who fail. El Guapo has never had a "quarterback controversy". El Guapo knows who would have been lavished after the UT game.

If we lose, El Guapo expects the streets of Denton to run red with a plethora of internet angst. When El Guapo robs a train, he never spares the SMU alums. Jefe, El Guapo does not want to lose this game.