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Column: Top 5 places to cry (or have sex) on UNT campus


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Edward Balusek // Visuals Editor

Within our nearly 900-acre campus are hundreds of spots where one can find some privacy. This list was compiled to offer the best suitable locations where a student can privately cry (or engage in coitus). The prime areas for doing such things require a certain level of visual privacy as well as audible privacy. After all, you don't want to be caught because of the sound of your depressing boo-hoos (or your noisy lover).

5. Inside the Sky Theater, UNT's planetarium

The Sky Theater isn't the most ideal place for whimpering or whoopie under the stars, but it does offer some elements of privacy. It's dark, and I mean, can't-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face dark. It's loud; the sound system inside the theater seems like someone has cranked it to 11 and ripped the knob off.

Although it offers some good requirements for privacy, there will always be someone else in there with you. If you're feeling gutsy you may be able to get away with being unnoticed. And if you're successful, there's always a good show to watch afterward.

4. Underneath the first floor stairwell on the northeast side of the GAB

This area offers a high level of visual privacy because of the cavernous design of the stairwell. A section roughly 10 feet by 5 feet is deeply tucked away underneath the staircase. Also, the spot lacks foot traffic. There are quite a few students who use the stairs; however, there isn't an exit to the building or entrance to a hallway of classrooms in that stairwell.

Audible privacy is a different story. If you've ever been inside any of the GAB's stairwells you know that it is a resonating chamber. A pin drop's echo would rings out like church bells.

If you've mastered the art of silent crying or lovemaking then this spot is perfect.

3. Underneath Fouts Field stadium seats

Numerous nooks and crannies are available in the remaining structure of Fouts Field. This spot contains tall concrete walls and there aren't any lights, not to mention it looks like a ghost town.

The high ceiling does however create a minor echo. Though, the effect is somewhat dampened by the concrete and open-air infrastructure.

Overall, the dark, deserted area gives off a sense of seclusion, which benefits those who take their time with their partner and those who like to revel in a good cry.

2. Practice modules inside Bruce Hall

Located on the first floor of Bruce Hall are practice modules. Some have pianos inside and some have nothing but a music stand, which give you the ability to serenade your partner or perform a melancholy ballad while your crocodile tears drip onto the ivory keys.

The rooms are virtually sound proof and are well hidden within the labyrinth-like floor plan of Bruce Hall. What I mean by virtually sound proof is that you can barely hear the muffled, violent banging of piano keys.

The room where the practice modules are housed also have a deserted ambiance, much like Fouts Field, but also feels as though you could be murdered with an axe inside the dimly lit cellar. If you're unbothered by creepiness there's no issue.

The likelihood of being discovered is severely hampered by the location within the residence hall and the modules are a prime spot for students who can't help but make a ruckus together - or alone.

1. Dorm rooms

There's no better sense of privacy than the privacy of your own, or your friend's, dorm room. The living space comes equipped with a lock on the door and multiple surfaces like beds, chairs and desks for you to breakdown in the fetal position or get busy - and I don't mean busy with bookwork.

Sure, you run the risk of suitemates or passersby hearing your laborious grunts, groans and sniffles, but no one will think twice about invading your space and interrupting.

Feature Image: Underneath Fouts Field Stadium seats is one of the top five places where a student can find some privacy on campus. Photo By Edward Balusek Visuals Editor

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What about the stairs to nowhere in the Art Building?! I never had the timing needed to land an opportunity up there, but really, how could you go wrong with that being on the list - and really, isn't "dorm rooms" just a cheap cop-out answer?

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  • 9 years later...

To the right of the main entrance to Hickory Hall, there's a door. Should be the one between Hickory and Auditorium Building. Take the right staircase going downwards. There'll be an area with good visual privacy, though not sure about auditory privacy. When people come down the stairs from the left, it might sound like they're coming to the dusty spot you found, but they're just trying to exit the building 10 times out of 10. Probably good for silent crying and reading or working on stuff. 

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