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David Letterman: "France wants more evidence [of Iraqi violations]. The last time France wanted more evidence, it rolled right through France with a German flag."

Dennis Miller: "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

Jay Leno: "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"

Rep. Roy Blunt, R-Mo.: "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."

Blunt again: "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was: 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"

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I've always viewed our bailout of France in WW II as payback for the American Revolutionary War which it's doubtful we'd have won (or at least not as easily) without the help of the French.

Besides, if it weren't for the French, what would you eat with your hamburger ?

That reminds me...the French guy on "The Patriot" is a great character. That's an underrated movie by the way.

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>A SOLDIER'S LETTER<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Dear Dad:

A funny thing happened at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia). A French army officer walked up to me in the PX and told me that he thought we Americans were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war with Iraq. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France. I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface again at some point in the near future anyway. I also told him that is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of pansies for soldiers. I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support, if it ever came was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden and provide 85% of the support, as evidenced by this French officer was shopping in an American PX, and not the other way around. He bagan to get belligerent at this point, and I told him that if he would like to, I would meet him outside the Burger King and whip his ass in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman. He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Dad, tell Mom I love her.

Your loving daughter,

Mary Beth Johnson, Lt. Col., USMC

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