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Who should coach UNT Basketball in 2016-17?  

53 members have voted

  1. 1. Who should coach UNT Basketball in 2016-17?

    • John Calipari
    • Rusty Greer
    • Mike Leach
    • Dan McCarney
    • Jimmy John Liautaud
    • Pat Summitt
    • VHS copy of '88 UNT vs. Texas Football Game
    • Keep Tony Benford (JJ got 11 years!)
    • Other (please identify and explain in comments)

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Friends, our long, hideous Benford nightmare might finally be within weeks of coming to a conclusion. 

Inspired by @Cerebus and his hourly Seth Littrell grade polls, I thought it might make sense to tap in to the powerful GMG brain trust and maybe start think tanking our ideal candidates. 

Please review the 8 candidates that the Neinas Consulting Firm suggested, and vote accordingly. Share your thoughts, and if you have a different candidate you'd like to introduce to the discussion, please be sure to elaborate in a response post. 

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Candidate #1: John Calipari

Pros: Experienced coach. Past success at the CUSA level. Capable recruiter. 

Cons: Already employed. May not be willing to come here, even for $1 million per year. 3 straight seasons without a national championship... May not be so great anymore.  

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Candidate #3: Mike Leach

Pros: Offensive guru. Texas ties. Says funny stuff at press conferences sometimes. Texas state constitution mandates his fan consideration as candidate for any and all job openings at North Texas. 

Cons: Until this season, hadn't won a bowl game since 2007. Zero BCS appearances. May not be ready for the big time lights and expectations here. 

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Candidate #4: Dan McCarney

Pros: Won a national championship at Florida. Recruiting pipeline to Iowa. Hayden Fry approved. Already earning several million dollars from North Texas despite not actively coaching any of our athletic teams. 

Cons: Indoor sunglasses could be a bench technical foul. Didn't do so hot with the football team. Derek Thompson and Andrew McNulty out of NCAA eligibility... Who would play center and point guard? May have sold his Denton house... Can we afford to pay for yet another moving van? 

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Candidate #5: Jimmy John Liautaud

Pros: RV already has his number on speed dial. Does not like transfers. A proven expert in serving up literal shit sandwiches, instead of a flailing amateur like Benford who just does it metaphorically

Cons: The Adolf Hitler of fast food. Could undo any gains or RV growth realized through our sandwich crowdfunding effort

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Candidate #6: Pat Summitt

Pros: All-time winningest head coach in college basketball history. Zero losing seasons in 38 years of coaching. 8 time NCAA champion. 7 time Coach of the Year. Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient. Has probably forgotten more about being a successful coach than Tony Benford will ever know. Not currently employed, but still just 63 years old. 

Cons: Woman. 

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Candidate #7: VHS copy of '88 UNT vs. Texas Football Game

Pros: Inspirational. Huge support from long time UNT fans and disengaged alums. Would show players that despite our disadvantages, we can almost accomplish anything. 

Cons: Recorded in EP mode, and the sound is pretty scratchy. Part of the 3rd quarter is missing because Mom taped over it with an old "Murder, She Wrote" episode. 

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I would like to offer as a candidate ...The Ghost Of Jerry Tarkanian !  The man could recruit, was more slippery than Hillary, took care of his players (nudge nudge, wink wink), and knew how to promote the sport of basketball at his school. He died a year ago today, I think, and is rested and ready. Granted, he probably went to Hell...guess he'll feel right at home in the current environment.

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13 minutes ago, Marty said:

Mike Leach is already included as joke candidate #3. 

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32 minutes ago, Marty said:

On a serious note, this is a great read.

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Just now, greenminer said:

Not to be a Debbie Downer or nothing, but there's no way McCarney signs the dotted line unless he can start McNulty at point.

I think that anyone who wants to minimize the basketball IQ of our fan base, or belittle our strategic analysis savvy, should take note of the fact that we've all made the same evaluation and given zero votes to McCarney (so far).

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My man, The Ghost of Jerry "Tark the Shark" Tarkanian, teaches tenacious, pressing D that creates easy points off turnovers. Here is an example of one of his techniques he would teach at his summer camp:


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