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The Fake Lonnie Finch

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Everything posted by The Fake Lonnie Finch

  1. Years ago, I good man named The Fake Lonnie Finch researched and posted a study on national championships to compare California, Florida, and Texas talent. The long and short of it was that, since 1970: -only one Texas school had won a national title: Texas in 2005 -only one California school during that time period won a national title, and the did it four times: USC, 1972, 1974, 2003, and 2004 -all three major Florida schools won multiple national titles: Miami in 1983, 1987, 1989, 1991, and 2001; Florida State in 1993, 1999, and 2013; Florida in 1996, 2006, and 2008. That'
  2. Cerebus, Go ahead and drop your 'net hammer. It will never change: Nor will conflating Quentin Tarantino's 19th century slavery fantasies with 21st century mental illness displayed by Dress Up Bruce Jenner.
  3. ​ No matter what parents do - or, how many dresses a man wears - modern psychobabble cannot undo science. However, the ensuing freakshow as they try does drive television ratings; and, thus, ad revenue. This is the answer to our attendance problem, actually: Hire a male coach who says he's a female! We'll get freakshow media attention. Come on, Ricky V, wake up and hire one of these mentally ill men to lead us into attendance and media attention nirvana!
  4. Sorry that we didn't have more time to speak at the event last week, Mark. My wife and brood - which now includes a nephew home for summer - enjoyed it. We won something again, too! I'm changing my last name to Lucky! Ignatius Mateo Lucky. I.M. Lucky, for short. It's third time in four years we've won something. Billy Idol used to say, "People really do win on MTV!" I can say the same for the Coaches Caravan. So, fill out those cards the cheerleaders give you when you are getting your name tags.
  5. Any a-you homos recall this: http://www.gomeangreen.com/forums/topic/100311-of-quarterbacks-and-coaches/ You're welcome, fags. It was all a house of cards. If we played 12 games against FCS schools, McCarney and Williams would be heroes with buildings and streets and half the BRUCE Jenner male-DNA babies in Denton County being named after them. As it is: (1) Dan, shut up and win. (2) Dajon, shut up and transfer down to a school and conference appropriate to your talent level. Grapefuits. Grape nuts. Still, neither are grapes. If the time is drawing nigh for us to shun the bitter pie so
  6. I think that sometimes things happen, and at other times, things don't. We saw a lot of that this year. One thing that did happen was three young men put on uniforms with the intention of running onto the field and playing quarterback. But, as with all antediluvian civilizations, there comes a flood. With these three, it was a flood of turnovers, misses receivers, and bad decision-making. Now, we stand at the crest of Time, the slow, steady flowing river and wonder whether Means is the answer. Only Time can answer that question; and, it will answer it as slowly as all other questi
  7. Dickey is good. This season will likely be Justin Fuente's ticket out of Memphis as well. On resume: developed Andy Dalton and was OC for TCU's Rose Bowl squad, won 9 games at Memphis. http://www.foxsports.com/college-football/story/nebraska-bo-pelini-fired-cornhuskers-next-coach-candidates-113014 http://www.bostonherald.com/sports/college/college_football/2014/11/justin_fuente_producing_major_turnaround_at_memphis http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/collegefootball/former-union-star-justin-fuente-producing-major-turnaround-at-memphis/article_e22a673b-a7d0-512c-8e47-a766a5ab98f0.htm
  8. UAB's demise is good. We need four or five more C-USA schools to fold as well...or, leave the conference.
  9. You like the Jerry Jones style of hiring, then, where the head coach has no input.
  10. I enjoy the football games. I like that our graduations rates are way up. I like that we have never been on NCAA probation. The football players are student athletes, part student and part athlete. After their eligibility, they will be human out trying to get jobs. I am proud that our coaches are doing well by them academically. I am different and better than you because I accept that the better/more competitive program ship sailed years ago - 32 years ago. We never joined the arms race. We are a peaceful people. We are Switzerland. For those reasons, we are what we
  11. Fixations List: 90 - Dan McCarney and Rick Villareal Andrew - Dajon Williams Me - Antediluvian Civilizations
  12. I think the Nebraska AD has the right idea. He announced during the Pelini firing presser that they would not hire an outside source to help with the hire. I agree. The thing is, if you need outside help, do you really know what is happening in your field? Your hire - with or without outside help - is always a 50/50 proposition: the guy will work out or he won't. To me, save your money. Do some research - not difficult in the internet era. Call around. Make a gut decision. The AD should know the tone and culture of his school without outside help.
  13. I had a list of schools I thought McNulty, Greer, and Williams should transfer to for 2015 - SFA and Sam Houston were not on the list. I'm too lazy to look it up again, but I think Texas A&M-Commerce was on the list. Sul Ross as well? Either way, all three need to take a step away because they are not capable at this level. FCS and Division II have much slower defenses; so, all three would do well down there,
  14. This. As if McCarney is the first coach to lose patience with a player whom he gave a scholarship that took it for granted by not working hard on or off the field. It happens everywhere.
  15. Me, too. Defense was young, but did play well in stretches. Eager to see the QB battle in spring. Love what we have in Jeff Wilson and Trevor Moore.
  16. Most of the kids played hard. We're not a re-load school. So, it was unrealistic to think we'd repeat 2013's success after losing six of the starting front seven on defense plus Trice, the best I-A/FBS quarterback we ever had, the best kick returner we ever had, and one of the best runners we ever had. Before the season, I said we'd be lucky to finish 5-7; and, we would have been.
  17. They have insurance. Those BOP policies contain coverage for business interruption as well as property coverage. The strip will be rebuilt with more modern buildings, and the business owners will be able to use insurance money to restock and stay on their feet in the meantime. That's what property and casualty insurance do.
  18. Here are some lyrics and "songs" from aspiring "artist" Michael Brown, the now deceased dope aficionado: http://clashdaily.com/2014/08/gentle-giant-mike-browns-explicit-rap-songs-praising-drugs-drinking-hos-murder/ "With this Glock in your face And you betta not make a sound And I only like white men on my money [???] Those who are last shall be first, Whites on the bottom He musta walked up and unloaded because there was no stopping him Somebody else layin’ across the street, must be his partner Damn." Who was racist? Yeah, the "Gentle Giant" Mike Brown. Just a
  19. If McNulty starts, give me the under; Williams, the over. Greer...is he even still suiting up?
  20. I am going to try to cajole my wife into going. We will already be in Granbury, so it's only another four hours or so down 281, just south of Stephenville a piece. If we go, I'm going to wear my special North Texas shirt and 100th Anniversary football hat. If you see me there, let the nachos flow!
  21. This will be a close ballgame. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 17-14, 16-15, 18-13. Some team will win it, and win it close. There will be terrible quarterback play on both sides. Defenses will "dominate." It will take a special kicker or kick returner to decide this one, maybe even a punt returner. There could be an unplanned fumble along the way that contributes toward the deciding factor. Penalties at key moments will likely figure in as well; and, some could be quite controversial. Injuries.
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